Another week of good times. Are ya ready? Of course you are! Let’s start it off with a joke:

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?” The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”

“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”

Of course! Here’s more:

9-7-12-hilarious-funny-texts-autocorrect-fail2

I’ve never been a fan of autocorrect but it sure makes for good comedy! Do you want a video? Ummmm…okay try this:

I love stuff like that. So clever. Yet so simple.

Some weird news:

A man and woman do something pretty stupid. I think you’ve heard this before:

The No. 1 thing not to do when you’re released from jail: steal a jail worker’s car on your way out of the pokey.

A man and a woman did just that Wednesday night immediately upon being released from jail in Greenwood, W.Va., authorities said. To make matters worse, they then ran a red light and T-boned a sheriff’s car as they fled pursuing state and county officers in Pennsboro, the Ritchie County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement.
Like…why you so stupid? Why you not just leave? How my broken English? Anyway, this story is hilariously sad.
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