More jokes. Yay.

A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm. He dropped down into a pasture of cows. The biggest, fattest cow was doing a crap there, and the bird landed in it. At first he was disgusted, until he realized the poo was thawing him out! He started crying out for joy as the ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, saw the bird and ate it.

There are three morals to this story:

1. Not everyone who gets you into crap is your enemy

2. Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend

3. If you are in crap, keep your mouth shut

Lovely and a life lesson too! Here’s something nice:

A French guest who was staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.

“Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge.

“Toilette pepper!”

Eh…ok that was pretty bad. This one is better; I promise:A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters “UFO” were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.
“Do you realize what just happened?” the station owner finally uttered.

“Yeah,” said the blonde attendant. “So?”

“Didn’t you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!”

“Yeah,” repeated the blonde attendant. “So?”

“Didn’t you see the letters ‘UFO’ on the side of that vehicle?!”

“Yeah,” repeated the blonde attendant. “So?”

“Don’t you know what ‘UFO’ means?!”

The blonde attendant rolled his eyes. “Good grief, boss! I’ve been
working here for six years. Of course I know what ‘UFO’ means
‘Unleaded Fuel Only.'”

And so, life as we know, has changed. Okay here’s one more for ya:

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. “Oh, come on, quit joking,” snickered one. “You didn’t really do that, did you?” “You would never get through basic training,” scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, “Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”

Cool. Okay great day now.

-DALANEL

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