Today is themed with Twitter stuff. Let’s start off with a story that is way too similar to mine. In a recent story from The Onion has a man with 10,000 tweets but only 15 followers. If you’re not familiar with Twitter, having 10k tweets means you’ve been tweeting for a while obviously.

The story is here.

Let’s get an image:

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Another story of my life. That’s when you start making changes from “are” to “r”. I hate that. I have a list here of some funny tweets, mostly by celebrities. Check that out. And now for some jokes that may make you hate me forever:

Q: Why did your girlfriend break up with you because of your Twitter obsession? A: Because she thought your obsession was Twubble!

You Know you’re addicted to Twitter If:

People don’t invite you out without you tweeting you about it.

Because you instantly tweet about everything you do, you no longer see the point of confessing in church.

You know where the Twitterers Twanonymous 12-step meetings are held and regularly attend!

Before you accept a job you have to find out about their twittering policies!

You use variations of the word Twitter as terminology in your tweets (tweetard, twittiquette, twitterrific, etc)

Before you go out and do something fun, you think about how you can tweet about it!

Your friends and loved ones have organized a Twittervention against you!

When you get into arguments with your spouse you subconsciously cut them off after they reach 140 characters!

You faint every time you now watch American Idol auditions because you can’t watch it on TV, tweet about, and read other peoples tweets without having a nervous breakdown!

You send in-office tweets using Twitter shorthand to stay within 140 characters!

One-hundred thirty-eight people tweeted you about this page in the morning.

You have your real name legally changed to your @twitterName.

You’ve been to your doctor and are now being treated for Twitter Twitch!

You get wedding presents from Twitter friends you have never met in real life.

You prefer Tweet and Twalking instead of real life conversations with actual people!

You’ve already checked your Twitter account three times before finishing this list!

More people know you by your Twitter picture than by what you actually look like.

You only use Facebook, when the Twitter servers are down! You are always accidentally trying your Twitter password to log onto things. 

It was a long list but you made it. Good for you! Well, that’s all for today. Oh, and while we’re at it, please follow me on Twitter. If you @ me with the hashtag #DALANEL, I’ll know you’re following me because of this post and I will follow you right back, my friend.

-DALANEL

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