It’s FRIDAY. Are you ready for the weekend? Where I live the weather is expected to be nice. Maybe I’ll keep it simple and shoot some hoops during the day and watch the NBA Playoffs at night. We got a man stealing nail polish, Manti Te’o’s girlfriend, solving a cough problem in a creative way, and more. So how about we get started with a joke:

The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up. “He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup,” the clerk explains. “So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once.” “Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot,” the owner shouts angrily.

“Sure it will,” the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. “Look at him. He’s afraid to cough.”

Yeah that’s great. What about an image:

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That’s what happened to me; no lie. Alright here’s the latest news.

It’s time for another episode of “Why did he do it?” Today, we have a 42 year old male who was caught stealing 102 bottles of nail polish. Yes. So, it’s time to figure out why. Here are my thoughts:

  • He wanted to shut his wife/girlfriend quiet by buying her a lifetime supply of polish
  • He wants to experience a polish hiiiiiiigggghhhh, man.
  • He’s getting ready for a new career in cross dressing.

The story doesn’t say why he did so it could anything.

Alright what about some good news? Like the brewing of a new battery for cell phones that will take less than one second to charge. Um, YES PLEASE. But, more than that, I would like a battery to last a lot longer than they do these days: More than a day.

Last of the news has a really disturbing twist. A couple is comfortable enough around each other to use the toilet, at the same time. 

He will not let your foot slip — he who watches over you will not slumber… —Psalm 121:3

He is referring to God, by the way.

And here’s a quote:

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Let’s wrap it up with a video of people falling over. My favorite is at the 1:46 mark as well as the last clip:

Well that’s it everybody. We’re getting closer to May and, at least for me, I have barely seen any April showers. Eh, oh well.

-DALANEL

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