We made it to day 80. Whew! And it’s Saturday so we add on the weekly news updates (satire, good, weird/funny). So sit back and get ready for some really good stuff. As usual, it’s joke time:

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, the pretty girl said, “I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard,” replied the male clerk with a smirk. “That’s fine,” said the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, “Grandpa will pay the bill.”

Yeah that’s why we don’t joke around like that. Here’s a video:

This first image is very unfortunate:

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True story: There was a can that size at my church that had a sticker that told you that the can was not edible. What a shame. Who would try to eat it? Anyway, this gif is…well…disturbing. But, you gotta win anyway you can:

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And here is a quote and scripture:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen

Jesus replied, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.” Luke 18:27

And now for the latest news.

First, does your tea kettle look like a famous dictator? Maybe Adolph Hitler? Well, some folks are targeting a kettle that J.C. Penny is selling because they claim there’s a familiarity with Hitler. Read the article and look at the picture. There’s a small comparison but it’s mostly people crying about nothing in my opinion:

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As you see, it’s mainly the hair and mustache. Oh well.

Next we have some good news. Tyler Perry has donated $100,000 to Ohio schools. Now, many of you don’t know this about me but I actually HATE Tyler Perry movies and shows. Can’t stand them. But look, at the end of the day, I don’t hate him as a human being. So I can set aside my hate of his professional career and look at this side of him. Good job, Mr. Perry.

Lastly, for satire news, we have a company that allows a time to let their employees come party and get drunk as they complain about their job. It was a great time. “It’s just really nice when, every couple of months, the company puts out some snacks and a keg so we can all hang out together and enjoy complaining about our incompetent CEO…It’s a great chance to get to know each other better and chat about why we absolutely hate our jobs and the company we work for.” Sounds fun!

And that’s all for today. This is June and it’s sure to be great for the blog.

-DALANEL

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