And behold! It is Monday. Earlier, you saw the epic return of Weekly Funnies. Let’s go ahead and get this post started though.

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. Hubert H. Humphrey

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57

wave-your-hands-in-the-air-funny-comics

Boy, that’s tough.

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?” Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um … no.”

The lawyer interrupts, “or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?” The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. “or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!” The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”

Looks like squeezing breasts can hold off cancer. I’d love to lend a hand, or two.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned how a couple of African students invented a soap that repelled mosquitoes and therefore slowed the spread of malaria. Well, now there’s a vaccine for malaria too. And it’s proven to be 100% effective.

And that’s all for today.

-DALANEL

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