It’s the middle of the week. I’ve been on a writing tear lately with 11 posts since Saturday. My Wedturday posts are going into November. Oh, Wedturday is a combination of Wednesday and Saturday which are the days I normally post non featured posts. Anyway, I should be slowing it down a bit as I get myself together with this cantata. I have a really cool helper this year. She helped me last year too so she’s got some experience too. I’ll let you know in a post in a week or two.
Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof. Khalil Gibran
It was his birthday a few months later and, on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in the country, the man called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he ‘putt-putted’. He ‘putted’ down one hill and ‘putt-putted’ up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, “Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!” She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and ‘rrriiiipppp!’ It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms awhile, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue-ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and, a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead.
While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin. When he heard his wife saying goodbye (indicating the end of his loneliness, and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in.
Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, “Surprise!!” To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.
Aw man! I think I would’ve left if I was waiting as a guest. While you open up the window, here’s the latest news. Oh, and since I haven’t post news all week, we’ll do two stories for good and two for weird/funny. Sounds good to me.
For this first go at weird news…well I’ll let the article explain it:
Yafet Askale, 28, denied entering the vehicle that police set up with a dye-trap in Harlesden, northwest London, to catch thieves in June. But he was found guilty of stealing objects inside the car after police produced photos showing his face covered with the liquid, invisible under normal light.
You have to hit the link. There’s a picture of him with the green. It’s creepy!
Next, we have a super hero. Yes, a man lost his job. So, the next logical thing of course is to dress up in tights and a mask and go outside and help the local community! The name is Captain Manchester. Good luck, sir.
A little girl, ten years old, raised $1,000 dollars for a bulletproof vest for a police…dog. Got ahead; take a look. I don’t always do animal stories like this but why not?
A 19 year old has a plan to clean the oceans of the world in five years. Listen…I actually don’t completely understand how it’s going to do it. But, he’s got people behind him so good for him. Did I mention he’s 19? Here I am; just a 22 year old on a keyboard. Sigh.
And so, another day down in this episode of DGS.