I know how to say “no”. Let’s just get this out of the way.

If you don’t like rants, turn back now.

No, really, turn back. I’m going to rant.

Part of the reason why I started a blog was to be able to rant and express myself. Ventilation. Release.

Okay, for those of you that are sticking it out, I have something to say. Ya know, there are some people are always saying yes to this and yes to that? Like, they feel bad if they say no to a opportunity or to a favor.

Haha…hahaha I don’t have that problem. But people think I do.

No, silly people. I don’t care about what people think of me. But, I don’t want people to misunderstand me. Many people are under the impression that I quit ushering and had an emotional breakdown from the cantata because I took on more than I could handle.

Stop it. This is simply not true.

“Oh, you’re doing the cantata again?” “Yeah”. “Make sure you don’t over do it this time. Learn to say ‘no’?

Okay.

Not okay.

I will gladly tell you if I am not able to do something. I feel no pressure to do things. If I can’t or don’t want to, I won’t do it. I won’t take the responsibility.

Here’s the point: I stopped doing this stuff because I said “no” to being disrespected. I don’t need crap in my life. I don’t need somebody yelling at me for something I can’t control. I refuse to be told that my 200% isn’t good enough in a situation where you are not even giving 50%.

Oh no. Not today.

“You can’t let one thing stop you”.

Huh? One thing? One thing never stops me. It’s always a series of events. I’m like a rubber band. You can pull me and pull me but eventually, if you don’t release the tension, I will snap. I am a balloon. I can be blown but so much before I pop.

Ew, I guess nobody actually “blows” me.

Still, Four years of dealing with stupid stuff from the cantata and even four years of ushering nonsense pulled me too far. That’s why I stopped. People need to understand this.

Do you have parents or even have you said this yourself: I can’t even look at you. Get out of my sight!

Yeah, that’s where I’m at with my church family. One of my pastors noticed that I sit by myself during service. He was showing concern when he asked me why I was separating myself.

Welp, besides the fact I’m anti-social anyway, I just need time to myself. In all honesty, I don’t even have to be in the building. The church live streams the services so I can watch from my laptop. But, anyway, I can’t look my church in the eye right now. I’m still pretty mad.

Plus, people are going to wonder why a hard working guy suddenly stopped working. I’ve said the same thing over and over and I’m tired of repeating myself. Plus, there’s no way I can tell the story without the church looking bad, and since I don’t want to bad mouth my church, I’d rather be quiet. And the best way to not tell anybody and be confronted is to be isolated.

That’s my reasoning.

But yeah, I know how to say “no”. And, in this trying time, I’m even more sensitive. I am somewhat grateful that people care about my well being. But, I would like to be left alone. Just know that I didn’t allow myself to be abused. I was hurt because other people decided not to own up to their problems and took them out on me.

I am strong minded. When I make up my mind, it’s too late. Only person who has a chance at that point is God. And even then, I have a Jonah spirit. I’ve run away from my God given tasks a few times. I am stubborn.

That can be good and bad. I am stubborn in not letting this blog die, even with my trials with my crappy laptop. That’s good.

I hope I can improve as a person in that regard. Still, I know how to say no and people better recognize that so that, when I say no to their face, they won’t have their feelings hurt.

End rant.

-DALANEL

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