Ah, wisdom. In comes in all shapes and sizes or something. These are words of wisdom.

Um…I’m the author of these words…probably should’ve lead with that, huh? I mean, you’re here now; might as well read the list.

  • There is no such thing as a stupid question, my friends. However, there’s a such thing as an obvious answer question.
  • Set your alarms 15 minutes later. Your body always wakes up too soon, anyway. You’ll wake up on time.
  • If at first a stunt almost kills you, encourage your buddy to do it.
  • A woman who looks pregnant is never pregnant until her water breaks. We never ask.
  • Humping your way to the top isn’t logical. Use your hands. Jesus used His hands on wood. See? It’s all clear now.
  • You’ll never know how hot coffee is until you try-OH GOH, MAH TONGUE!
  • If you want to be famous, die in an unusual way.
  • Always tell your electronics how much you love them. You never know when they decide the world is theirs.
  • Don’t aim too high. It won’t matter. Gravity always wins.
  • Never ask Dante why he made this list.

Take these words with you. Survive. Exist, and all that crap.