Welp, here we go again. This one is a little more humorous. God is funny sometimes.
Round Two: Christmas Cantata 2013
If you are new here, I’m sorry but, I’ve hit on a lot of details already. My regular readers are probably ready to decimate me if I go into it again.
Last year, the show went badly for me. Emotional, mental, and physical breakdown all came together that Saturday.
People tell me all the time that I’m the man for the job. I disagree strongly. I believe that there’s plenty who can do so much better than what I’ve done. I spent 2013 gagging at the thought of going into the flames again. Next thing I know, there’s a new director and new script that looked rather complex. Still, this new director came at me hard. For one, she told me of quite a few people that recommended me for the job of lighting.
See, when I heard of the new director and new script, I wasn’t going to volunteer myself. She was going to have to track me down or get somebody else. She must’ve asked people who could handle the lighting and they said me. Great.
So yeah, I wasn’t going to get involved unless she asked me. And, even then, I wasn’t going to just jump in like it was nothing. In August, she started making moves. One of the moves was to take the miming team, which was a bunch of teens and some kids and axed their usual part in the previous cantatas. My sister is in the group so I was aware. Also, Nia is part of it too.
By the way, I have a fear of mimes so hearing that they wouldn’t appear didn’t kill me inside. But, the church absolutely loves them. Whatever.
Anyway, She was going to use the mime as part of the cast. It was a brilliant move on her part because of how the play was going to be played out. See, the mime would play the characters but, we had a group of readers who actually read the parts. All the mime did was act it out. And so, they were still in a position to do what they do best. From my understanding, the mime didn’t feel that way.
I thought it made perfect sense and I really needed the mime to shut the heck up because I wasn’t in the mood for them to drag their feet because each year, the cast has caused more problems than anything. And last year all they had to do was sit still. F me if I’m feeling some kind of way considering my breakdowns.
Sorry, this isn’t meant to be a rant. But, I had to set up the mime story.
So, fast forward to September. She finally got in touch with me. I was dreading that email. I met with her a couple of weeks later because I actually spent time avoiding her but she finally got me. I such at hide and go seek. Anyway, she caught me in church. Sunday. She told me a brief run-through of what she wanted to do. I would think about it.
The next day, once again I went to God. I issued this challenge to Him: Tell ya what, Lord. I’ll do it if you send somebody to tell me. And I mean literally tell me. Right to my face. Not asking me; but telling me. I guess God said, “Fine”.
I told Nia that the director had contacted me about directing. She went on a rant about how she was mad at not being able to mime. Then, she said that she would just help me with the lighting. And then:
Me: Oh, well, I wasn’t gonna do it.
Nia: What do you mean you’re not gonna do it?
Me: Well, I didn’t feel like doing it. Last year was tough. I-
Nia then walked up to me. She was shorter than I but, she raised her finger and touched my nose.
Nia: No, you’re doing the lighting because I told you so.
Nia: No! You’re doing it and I’m helping you because I can’t mime but at least I can still be a part of the show and that’s final.
Nia walked away. A random foodbank client, who witnessed the exchange chimes in
Man: Well, you heard the little lady. I guess you have no choice; you have to do it.
I stood there in complete shock. For one thing, she did what I told God to do. Another, this little girl is 11 years old telling a grown man off. Am I but a little punk to be pushed around?
But, the last thing that hit me in that initial shock was just who Nia was. Remember, she helped me out last year. She had a better idea of what I was going through more than most. God one-upped me in getting her to do it. She was there.
We connect better with people who have experienced or are experiencing the same stuff we are. For a traumatic experience, you’re probably more inclined to listen to someone who survived it. “I lost my mom too”. We connect to that.
And so, God in His greatness and sense of humor decided to send her to me. I wasn’t surprised that she did it in terms of personality. She lets her opinions known. Very honest like me. And, like the man said, I had no choice. His words were key because as soon as h said it, that’s when I went into shock as my challenge to God just a couple of days before came back.
Will I ever lean my lesson and stop challenging God? Will I ever let go of my Jonah spirit? Maybe the next match will set me straight.