Dallas’ Opinion: Friendship problems!! Help!!?

In this special version of Dante’s Opinion, Dallas T. takes over. She answered a question from Laura:

“My friend tweeted about a problem. I texted her to see what it was and she was just saying “nothing.” When I asked if it was me she said, “it’s nothing. Just Stop!” I then said “you know I’m here if you need to talk?” There was no response, so I tried to face time her and she ignored the call. I text her hi later and she text back hi, but she’s not really into our conversation. We are best friends! What should I do?

When caught in a situation that involves someone expressing their feelings, you have to approach them cautiously. On one hand you want to find out what the problem is, but on the other, you don’t want to press them so much to where they completely close you out. How far you can go with asking a person “What’s wrong?” kind of depends on your relationship with that person. You would think asking what’s wrong to someone is harmless right? The truth is that it’s easier to squeeze information out of a sibling, but when it comes to friends or best friends it is harder.

All throughout the environment we see best friends as being inseparable, having no secrets, and always sharing information. Honestly, your friends are not going to always want to share their feelings and because you care so much about them you want to do everything you can to help. While you see it as, “just trying to help,” your friend may be in a fragile state and just needs time to gather his/her emotions. Of course when asking someone why they may be upset, they will probably say, “nothing.” From this point you have to decide if it is the best time to keep trying to help or if you should give it some time and continue to remind them that you are their best friend and truly value their happiness.

You don’t want to press your friend too far to where they feel as though you are just overbearing and then you may lose a great friendship. I say that if your friend doesn’t want to share right away, give them some time to kind of collect and make sense of everything he/she has taken in and allow them to get into an comfortable state and they may come to you and ask for advice in time. If not you may want to bring it up after a day or 2 and maybe say, “Hey! I noticed the other day you were feeling kind of down and I was wondering if it was something I could help with or if it it was something I did. You know you can talk to me about anything and i’ll be here for you.” If you do this and they still don’t feel comfortable with sharing, you should just respect that and let them come to you on their own time when they are ready.


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