The Vine I’m about to show you contains a certain amount of books that I have written. This vine is pretty old, but I thought I’d let you in on it.

Let’s break the books down.

The first book you saw was my first book (spoiler alert: the books were shown in order of when they were completed) Spiritual Interpretations. This used to be published. I talked about things like how to listen to God and forgiveness and a bunch of other stuff that I might be mixing up with book number two…

Spiritual Illustrations was similar to Interpretations but it included skits that helped illustrate what the chapter’s message was. This also used to be published, until I decided to make the books one big book. Here, I tackled the end of the world, and the power of prayer, among other things. Combined, no more than 200 pages.

One Play Per Nipple is a book that contains as many plays as I have nipples: 3. The titles include A New Home, Finding Destiny, and The Face-Off. I’ll explain these later on.

Next is Interpretations and Illustrations. A combination of the first two books, there is some new content. Some of the chapters from the first book now include skits. Other than that, it’s the same wording and all of that. So, let’s all agree that I have one published book out there.

A New Home is the personal spoof of a personal tragedy. A family moves into a new home and ends up struggling to fix this dump up in hilarious fashion. Yes, it’s been done before, but I think I nailed an original tone to it.

Finding Destiny is the story of a kid of some rich guy getting kidnapped. Blah, blah, blah. One of the things I really focused on was the actual kidnapping. I think Hollywood goes too far with these things and it ends up making no sense. My girl got kidnapped the natural way: Dad runs late picking her up from school, giving the bad guys a chance to grab her. This play is part of a trilogy. I finished the second part, and am working on the 3rd part. When it’s done, the trilogy will have its own book.

Speaking of sequels, The Face-Off is a sequel to A New Home. Maybe not a sequel…more of a spinoff. In any case, one of the main characters from the family in A New Home goes off to college and faces off against school, life, and evil twins. However, this wasn’t originally a spinoff. It was actually originally titled “The Face-Off on Facebook” where I used real Facebook friends as the names of the characters. It was its own storyline. Interestingly enough, I was able to retitle the play, but not have to change anything for it to “continue” A New Home’s storyline. However, I added a few more ACTs to A New Home so that it would naturally lead up to The Face-Off. I’ve also posted this play here on DALANEL.

2000 and Jesus is the story of Jesus’ birth if He were born in the 21st century. I’ve been secretly hoping that my church would use it for a Christmas play one year. That would be awesome.

Will all of these projects ever be published? It remains to be seen. Just sharing a hobby of mine with you. Which of these books seems the most interesting to you?

-Dante Writes