Fun question:

I guy I work with just left foster care in June when he turned 18. He’s kind of quiet and a loner so I doubt he has many friends. I feel bad for him and I’m going to invite him to my house for Thanksgiving with my family. How far in advance do I ask him?

First of all, really nice of you to want to extend this invitation. Actually, I think you can ask now, but keep a few things in mind:

  • Make sure it’s as flexible as possible for him. “If you want, we’d love to have ya”. If he’s quiet and a loner, he may need time to process spending an entire evening with people he doesn’t know. It’ll help if he doesn’t feel like he HAS to accept the offer. Speaking of that…
  • Make sure you don’t ask for an answer at that time. “Think about it” is perfect. He may not be sure; again, he needs to process the offer. Someone he knows or is possibly more comfortable with may extend an invitation.
  • Be careful of being aware of his presence. Again, he’s with a bunch of people he doesn’t know. Sitting down while the rest of the family yaps away at familiar things and inside jokes will be awkward. You’ll need to be sure to accommodate him.
  • I said you could ask him now. I think asking just weeks before might be too late. It’s the end of September as I write this, but this will be scheduled to show up probably the first week of October.
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