Dante’s Opinion: When is the best time to have homemade chocolate cake?

Oh this is gonna be something. Here is the question:

When is the best time to have homemade chocolate cake?

What? See, the problem with this is that the question should be “when is not the best time?” But, ya know what, here is a list of times to eat homemade chocolate cake:

  • Right now
  • At dinner time
  • On lunch break
  • At that guy you sort of knew’s funeral
  • While pooping
  • While watching…whatever
  • Saturday all the way through next Saturday
  • In front of that evil diabetic kid
  • In front of that old diabetes guy from the commercials
  • With chocolate milk
  • When you have nowhere to go so the sugar crash isn’t a problem
  • Right before the chair
  • Right before you purposefully commit a sin
  • After getting thrown out of the house by your boo and you head over to mom’s house and eat the cake she made yesterday
  • While driving in rush hour
  • While piloting a helicopter…during your pilot training
  • After finding out you’re not the father after claiming you never was and Maury finally proved it and you’re in the back of the studio gloating about how she’s a ho and one of the producers brings the cake she still had that was supposed to be for her wedding but the groom died by getting hit by a delivery truck that ironically contained ingredients for homemade chocolate cake. Time loop? Cake loop
  • While writing opinion posts on your laptop while praying your keyboard doesn’t become tasty and sticky

Those are probably some good times. Anybody else have anything to add?

Now I want to hear from you

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