We all have goals in life. We want to see, do, touch, eat, and more before we die. I first posted this bucket list in 2012. Now, years later, I wonder about my progress and what would happen if I finished it.

Would life lose meaning? Would I challenge myself to do more? I don’t know. Let’s see how I’m doing (seriously, you need to hit that link before you continue).

Pee On Yourself

From what I have been told, my mother did pee a little bit. I did manage to get a little urine sample there. So, we can check this off.


As originally stated in the listing, this is the one I usually accomplish. So, we can check this off our list! Good start! I got the fluids flowin’!


Ah…I wonder what the ramifications are of completing this. Am I subject to legal action? Will I feel remorse? Perhaps I should only target people I don’t really care for? So many questions. The odds of this happening are pretty slim; however, I would imagine people with heart problems is where my target audience is for this. As far as I know, I have not sent anyone in the dirt with my comedy. Sad face…or not…?

Fall out of your seat

I have definitely done this. It’s my absolute favorite. By far. I love watching people collapse. Sure, they probably won’t die, but watching them struggle to regain their dignity is epic and a joy of mine. So, we can check this off. 3 for 4 isn’t bad at all. One of my sisters can verify; I was able to make a large group of teenagers fall out of their seats in wild fits of laughter, and I wasn’t even trying. I WASN’T EVEN TRYING, BRO. I AM AWESOME. Just ask my sister if she finally got her pie.

Snorting like a pig

I’ve only gotten this a few times, but one is enough. Breathing quickly and deeply can result in a beautiful snort that just warms my heart. I like bacon. I love bacon. Check.

Make a scene in public

Yeah, now this is subject to variables.  I judge this on if I can make you laugh in such a way that is draws fairly significant reaction from others in public. Have I been able to pull this off? I want to say I have. But, if I really be honest by my ultimate dream; then the answer is no. Like, I want heads turning and confused faces staring. People are good at pretending like they don’t know anything; but I want that to be broken. I want you to acknowledge what is going on.

So, out of the 6 things here, I got 4. That is really decent.

Making a scene in public is very doable. The dying one is going to be hard. I also imagine it wouldn’t be intentional. Also, this isn’t something that usually happens. It’s not rare, but you don’t see it everyday, ya know? So, by my judgement, I do think I will ever be able to complete this list.

But, what if I did? Let’s say I do it this year. Then what? Do I become a legend? Am I a killer? I done made you laugh in a great deal of ways; what more can I do? Do I lose my passion to bring humor to others? Like I asked before, do I just add a new challenge?

Honestly, I’m glad the dying one is on the list. It gives me something to strive for, no matter how impossible. Keeps the juices (or pee or tears) flowing. One thing I thought about adding was this:

Losing anger

Have you ever been mad or angry and then that classic “don’t make me laugh; I’m upset. Stop”? Yeah, I like being able to calm you down by making you laugh. I have had moderate success doing it too; even in very serious moments. If I add this; it’s already checked off the list.

But yeah, I think this is a list that won’t be complete and that’s fine. I think our lists should have at least one really, really “odds are it won’t happen” thing to keep us moving towards it and keep us moving in general.