The best ways to die

We all gotta go. We really do. So, if you’re like me, you have a scenario for how you’d like to go. Some people wanna sleep and not wake up. Others want to be doing something they love. Well, here’s basically how I’d like to go. It’s all ranked.

4. Saving a sibling

Ah yes, I used to dream about such things when I thought I was a good brother. The honor to die for my sisters is something I really would like to have if it comes down to it. It would have been higher, but, again, I likely won’t have this chance since I’m actually a bad person/brother.

3. Laughing

It’s painful. But, it’s funny. To simply laugh and laugh and laugh and essentially have your heart go to jail (cardiac arrest; get it?) sounds cool.

2. Quickly and painlessly

I just said I would like to laugh to death, which would be painful and take quite some time. But, I would rather be out of it immediately. I don’t wanna feel anything. Nothing.

1. Crazy accident

A lot of people want to leave some sort of legacy when they die. What if your death IS your legacy? I wouldn’t mind dying in some crazy freak accident and end up on that show 1,000 Ways to Die. Epic. Now, what kind of accident exactly, I’m not sure. Off the top of my head, let’s say I die from gang violence. I get hit by a stray bullet from two streets down while standing behind a tree. Like, some real crazy stuff where it’s like “it was just his time” universe interfering type of stuff. Or a plane engine falls on me. Whatever.


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