Weekly Funnies 26: Superheroes!

Another week of funny stuff. Today, we’ll look at some funny memes. I want to share 7 with you. Ya ready? Laugh!

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Weekly Funnies 25

We’re at week 25, although it’s not quite 25 weeks in a row.

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I have posted this before. Still funny.

There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”  Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”.

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”

The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week.”

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Weekly Funnies 24

Another round up of some funny stuff on the web. Are you ready? I can’t hear you! No, really, I can’t. Sorry.

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the Kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, “Johnny, what is the matter?”

Little Johnny groaned and responded , “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

My laptop or WordPress is struggling with photos today so darn it darn it darn it.

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Weekly Funnies 23: Cyanide and Happiness

Hahaha if you don’t know what Cyanide and Happiness is, you’re in for a real treat. If you know what it is, well, you’re in for a real treat. Everybody wins. I’ll show comics and videos. Are ya ready? Let’s f’n go!osama_Funny_Comics-s484x312-39961-580

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Weekly Funnies 22

Alice was becoming frustrated by her husband’s insistence that they make love in the dark. Hoping to free him of his inhibitions, she flipped on her reading lamp one passionate night — only to find a cucumber in his hand.

“Is THIS”, she asked, pointing to the vegetable, “what you’ve been using on me for the last 5 years?”

“Honey, let me explain…”

“Why, you sneaky bastard!” she screamed. “You impotent son of a -”

“Speaking of sneaky,” her husband coolly interjected, “maybe you’d like to explain our three kids.”

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Weekly Funnies 21

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot is using a guide dog.  Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke.  However, after a few minutes the engines start spooling up and the airplane starts moving down the runway.

The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.  Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking.

Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.  Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the Captain, “You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream and we’re gonna get killed!”

 

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