Weekly News 9

Today’s good news is really awesome. Police in Canada are giving out “positive tickets“. Yeah, geared towards teens and kids, these tickets are really coupons for pizza and ice cream just for following the law. I really like this idea. Where was this when I was a kid? Heck, I’ll take a coupon now!

Remember 9/11? That changed everything we knew about airport security. Only, a 9 year old boy was able to get through to sneak onto a flight. Yeah. Nobody knows why he did it yet. Also, while on his flight, flight attendants were eyeing him and when they landed, they took him in. They won’t say why he caught their eye. Oh, by the way, the flight was from Minneapolis to Las Vegas. Yeah.

Being a furloughed employee during this government shutdown is not fun. However, some are trying to ease the pain. Restaurants in D.C are offering discounts to furloughed workers. Just present your I.D. and you’re in. I’m sure D.C. isn’t the only place this is happening, right?

Now, this weird news is too much for me to explain. Look:

The males of several species of insect-eating marsupials have a very  unusual life history. They mature quickly, often in less than a year.  Then, during a short and frenzied breeding season, they mate repeatedly —for up to 14 hours in some cases — until their immune systems crash and  their bodies start to fall apart. Then they die.

At first, I was like, wtf? Then, after reading the entire article, I was like, WTF!?

A woman’s faith in humanity is restored after a couple of teens returned her son’s lost wallet.

This has been around for 1,000 years already but we just wrapped up another cricket fight. It’s like dog fights or cock fights but with the little guys.

-DALANEL